My brother should have heard the flat tone in my voice this previous week as a result of he invited me as much as his home for a pancake brunch yesterday morning (Sunday). It was good to see him and my sister-in-law and he’s a better cook than I’m. By far.
I had a Zoom session with my psychiatrist, Dr. Lev, on Monday and admitted to her I was struggling. I informed her I purchased a lightweight remedy field, and in the identical breath, I stated I guess it didn’t work as a result of I don’t have seasonal affective disorder. She didn’t wish to raise the dosage of any of my present antidepressants, so she began me on a micro-dose of a thyroid remedy as an adjunct to the antidepressant. First I’ve heard of this, however I believe her implicitly. I’ve to take it on an empty stomach, so I often take it at about 2 or 3 a.m., after I first stand up, so I can have my coffee. I’ve been combating insomnia for close to 2 years. I don’t even attempt to return to sleep anymore.
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Every month I meet with different women from the entrepreneur program I was part of in 2018, before I had my stroke. Right now, we’re meeting over Zoom. We assist one another in our respective companies, give one another suggestions and customarily have time. I look forward to getting along with these girls who’ve become my pals. I knew I used to be in bother this previous Saturday after I couldn’t look forward to the meeting to end so I could burrow again below the covers.
To add to the powerful time I used to be going via, I obtained a warning from my supervisor at work concerning my efficiency. I’m not meeting my numbers, however I do know for a fact that neither are my co-workers. I haven’t met my numbers since I began working full-time since getting back from my stroke so I don’t actually know why he’s selecting this month specifically to subject this warning. Part of the explanation, he cites, is the time I take off to attend my medical appointments. I wish to ask him how I’m supposed to decide on between my well being – which admittedly the second half of this 12 months has been a wrestle – and my job? I don’t even wish to know his reply.
The fact is, usually after I begin to feel depressed, I feel concerned because I understand how quickly things can go downhill. I imagine that’s why Dr. Lev prescribed the remedy. Right now, I just feel depressed and flat. That is frightening.